Gobble gobble, it’s Thanksgiving! These funny Thanksgiving quotes will get you into the feasting mood and ready to have a good time the vacation.
It’s Thanksgiving! It’s time for turkey, heaps of amusing, and perhaps even visits from circle of relatives. Whether you are touring this weekend or webhosting a large feast, this Thanksgiving is bound to be one for the books! Take a minute to consider the essential parts of Thanksgiving — giving gratitude for all your blessings and reconnecting together with your loved ones.
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This yr, as you acquire around the desk, proportion some hilarious quotes of gratitude ahead of passing the stuffing. There’s no better time to have amusing with family members than throughout a holiday meant to recognize the blessings of family.
So here is a roundup of funny Thanksgiving quotes to share at the dinner table.
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Funny Thanksgiving quotes
1. "Hope my relatives are getting along with the professional line sitter I hired to hold my place at the front of the Thanksgiving food line." — John Lyon
2. "It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without a little emotional scarring." — Friends
3. "I can't cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast." — Charlie Brown
4. "Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home." — Melanie White
5. "If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, ‘Man, just be yourself.'" — Mitch Hedberg
6. "I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family." — Damien Fahey
7. "Cooking tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out." — Nicole Hollander
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8. "Thanksgiving — when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn’t have to cook." — Melanie White
9. "Thanksgiving is a lot like Christmas, except you don’t get any presents for holding in your familial rage." — Unknown
10. "Overeating at Thanksgiving is a case in point. It’s a national tradition." — Eric Samuel Timm, Static Jedi: The Art of Hearing God Through the Noise
11. "Thanksgiving: Bringing out the best in family dysfunction since 1863.” — Unknown
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12. "Well Judy, you did it. She's in spite of everything complete." — Friends
13. "I like soccer. I in finding it’s a thrilling strategic recreation. It’s a good way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving." — Craig Ferguson
14. "Good mashed potato is one in every of the great luxuries of existence." — Lindsey Bareham
15. "There isn't any sincerer love than the love of food." — George Bernard Shaw
16. "Archeologists 10,000 years from now will consider this used to be a sacred feast where gravy boats had been worshipped." — William Ader
17. "You know that simply before the first Thanksgiving there was one smart old Native American girl pronouncing, “Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll by no means depart." — Dylan Brody
18. "It’s Thanksgiving, and we must no longer want to be in combination, together!" — Friends
19. "A large number of Thanksgiving Days have been ruined by way of not carving the turkey in the kitchen" — Kin Hubbard
20. "I assume I will die by no means understanding what pumpkin pie tastes like when you have room for it." — Robert Brault
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21. "On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence." — William Jennings Bryan
22. "Personally, I really like Thanksgiving traditions: watching soccer, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic word that sends your aunt storming out of the eating room to take a seat in her car." — Stephen Colbert
23. "Turkey lurkey doo, and turkey lurkey dap. I eat that turkey, then I take a nap." — Adam Sandler
24. "To be triumphant in existence, you need three issues: a wishbone, a spine, and a funny bone." — Reba McEntire
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25. "Even even though we’re a week and a half clear of Thanksgiving, it’s starting to glance so much like Christmas." — Richard Roeper
26. "I celebrated Thanksgiving the outdated way. I invited everybody in my community to my house, we had an enormous dinner party, and then I killed them and took their land." — Jon Stewart
27. "Last Thanksgiving, I shot my own turkey. It was once fun. That shotgun going, blam! Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why observe them after I know where they are?" — Kenny Rogerson
28. "The turkey. The candy potatoes. The stuffing. The pumpkin pie. Is there anything we all can agree so vehemently about? I don’t assume so." — Nora Ephron
29. "After a just right dinner, one can forgive any one, even one's own family members." — Oscar Wilde
30. "Vegetables are a should on a nutrition. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie." — Jim Davis
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31. "It's no longer the minutes spent at the desk that put on weight, it's the seconds." — Unknown
32. “Cider's mulling, turkey's turking, yams are yamming.” — Friends
33. “Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” — Johnny Carson
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34 “May your stuffing be tasty. May your turkey be plump. May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious, and your pies take the prize, and may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs!” — Anonymous
35. “Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” — Kevin James
36. “I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” — Erma Bombeck
37. “I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that.” — Howie Mandel
38. “You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.” — Jay Leno
39. “Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.” — Michael Dresser
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40. “An optimist is a person who starts a brand new diet on Thanksgiving Day.” — Irv Kupcinet
41. “Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families throughout the nation join together to carry America’s obesity statistics.” — Stephen Colbert
42. “A brand new survey discovered that 80 p.c of men claim they help cook dinner Thanksgiving dinner. Which is sensible, when you pay attention them consider saying ‘that smells excellent’ to be serving to.” — Jimmy Fallon
43. “For those of you who can't be with family this Thanksgiving, please resist the urge to brag.” — Andy Borowitz
44. “The Thanksgiving custom is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we simply consume a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we devour a lot with those that annoy the hell out folks?” — Jim Gaffigan
45. “If you wish to make an apple pie really from scratch, you must first invent the universe.” — Carl Sagan
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