Parents Chastise Daughter for Choosing Harvard over State School

May 18 2020, Updated 5:37 p.m. ET

My parents practically begged me to move to state school. They each went to state school. Our state had a big variety of good ones to make a choice from. And it could were means cheaper for them. But I didn't want the dimensions and feel of a state school. I used to be, unfortunately for them, a small liberal arts school woman via and through.

Even so, they strongly recommended me not to observe to Ivy League colleges. On the off probability I were given in, they would not be ready to have the funds for it. And because they had been helping me pay for varsity, that made sense to me. I found the small liberal arts faculty of my dreams, worked hard for some scholarships and had a pretty nice college enjoy. My parents were reasonable about it. The parents on this Reddit "Am I the A-hole?" put up? Not such a lot. 

OP explains that their 18-year-old daughter was approved to Harvard. That's a big deal! Although they say they're very proud of her, they don't want her to cross. She was once also accepted an an in-state school that will be a lot less expensive. 

On best of that, she could be in a position to live at home, they usually do not want her to pass into "mountains of debt" for Harvard when she'd get a very good schooling at an in-state school. And certain, that kind of is smart. But that is assuming they are helping her pay for school. 

They're now not. At all. "No, my wife and I are not directly paying for her school," OP wrote, "but if she gets sick or injured or she needs to come back home, we'll be both financially and emotionally paying for it."

So, to recap, they are upset that she's choosing to go to Harvard, her dream school, although they don't seem to be paying for any of it, as a result of within the off-chance that she will get injured (??) whilst there, they are going to have to pay for her care. Do you know their good judgment? Because I sure do not. Wouldn't in addition they care for her if she got injured at state school? 

It makes no sense. They also write that their younger daughter, age 12, could be "robbed" of her older sister when she "needs that guidance from someone closer to her age." Sure as heck seems like they want to stay their older daughter around simply to guardian their more youthful one. 

"I think it's a rather selfish decision and told my eldest so, but that just made her even more angry," OP writes. Uh, yeah. Of route it did. Her own mother or father isn't excited for her to move to her dream school, person who she's making plans to pay for totally on her own. Commenters sided with the daughter.

"YTA. 100 percent," one person wrote. "If this is her dream and it's doable, let her do it... She clearly wants to move out and begin a life elsewhere and you have no right to deprive her of that, ESPECIALLY if you are not the ones financing her education. It is not a selfish decision whatsoever on her part."

Here's the article: Choosing your school must be a selfish determination. It must be all about you. If you are privileged sufficient to have a call about the place you cross to school, and particularly if you are the only paying for it, you will have to make the decision for your self and nobody else, no longer even your parents. 

In an edit to their authentic post, OP writes, "I see now that I am TA. I won't stand in the way of my daughter going to Harvard, but I do stand firm that I believe it isn't a good idea." So principally, OP is OK with being the a--hole right here. 

The decision about where their daughter goes to school is not about them. If they were paying for it, you want to argue that they should have some say, but even then, they will have to have performed the entirety of their power to understand their child's dream. That's what parents are for. 

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